Hinata's Diary
by Katomi-chan
Summary: Hinata's thoughts on each character, in first person, CRACK... Random... I was bored.
1. Deidara

**DRABBLE!**

**(Hinata's opinion on the akatsuki..**

**First…DEIDARA!)**

**Remember the writing is in HINATA'S POV!**

Dear Diary,

He's a woman.. I was sure of it. There was no possible way for a man to have such an adorable face! That blonde long hair that covered his eye! With a baby like face and that grin!

THAT IS NO MAN!!!!!!!!

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Okay it is a man.

But very beautiful man.

That was just the start of Deidara though, His hands had mouth of them! I discovered this when we were washing dishes together. THERE WERE TOUNGS ALL OVER THE PLACE!

And I thought that maybe Orochimaru was back in town but NO! It was Deidara's hands going nuts apparently they weren't getting fed properly. HOW DO YOU FEED HANDS?

I couldn't resist asking him a few questions about his hands.

"Can you do chores with those hands?" I asked.

He just simply nodded,

That was a stupid question; I mean he was doing the dishes with me…

"What about cooking though… Do they eat what your making?" I asked him

"Only if they are hungry." He stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh… Can you make out with them?" Okay that popped out of my mouth, whoops… Now I seem like a pervert.

"I don't know want to try?" He asked me. I fainted.

--

I never asked that question again and I avoided him for a while, though when I woke up he wasn't there, missions and stuff. But those hands, I had a lot more to ask about them.

I did ask him a few times about his hair, and what shampoo he uses at the dinner table with the rest of the akatsuki, he didn't reply he walked out of the room looking like a cherry, and then the rest of the members, laughed. I didn't.

It must be tough being known as the feminine member of the group, though Itachi was pretty close to it. But, no one could out do Deidara, almost every enemy we encountered seem to mistake Deidara as a women. Well I did myself didn't I?

I still need to ask him was shampoo he uses.

--

I did discover that Deidara makes one mean chicken noodle soup! He served it for the Akatsuki, and everyone enjoyed it, except Zetsu he was still pissed off at Kisame for trying to 'trim his leaves'.

When I told them that Deidara makes it with his hands help.. Every spat it out and left. Once again I embarrassed Deidara. Oops.

--

Though Deidara and I are good friends and we have great teamwork when it comes to missions (That usually being cleaning dishes… Or giving the leader a make over.). Though he usually gets mad when I play with his hair, its not like me to touch someone's hair but I have never have felt such smooth hair.

I don't know much about him though

Haha..

But this is all I have found out so far…

Signed Hinata.


	2. Kisame

**Drabble**

**2**

**(Kisame…..)**

**Yeah**

Dear Diary,

I never knew you could be so pale you were blue. But, he wasn't pale this man was a shark, and he was too tall! Itachi looks pathetic standing next to him I can't help but giggle but then I get a death glare from Itachi.

I asked him a lot of questions when I was cooking and he was constantly asking if he could have a snack. I always replied with a no.

"Why do you have hair? You are a shark, since when did sharks have hair?" I asked him. He twitched I couldn't help but laugh a little (in secret though I am a ninja and I do not want to get killed!)

"…" He replied.

"If you are a shark you don't eat vegetables right?" I asked. He shook his head Kisame was tapping his finger against the desk probably trying to ignore me. But I was just getting started.

"Why do you carry a giant Popsicle around?" I asked Itachi was passing in the hallway and bursted out laughing, I was giggling. Kisame left the room it served him right for trying to snack before dinner.

"You're weapon isn't very threatening Kisame you better get a different one before children come running after you thinking you're the ice cream ma-… Shark." Itachi said walking away. Kisame turned red in anger (If its possible I mean he is blue so he would be purple wouldn't he? Ah…).

--

I really did wonder a lot of things about Kisame. Did he have a fin on his back? Did anyone mistake him for a dolphin? I should ask him some of those questions.

"Kisame-san." I said during the middle of our dinner with the rest of the Akatsuki.

"Do you have a fin?" I asked.

"Maybe." He replied eating some more of his food.

"You're not a Shark if you don't have a fin Kisame." Deidara said laughing. Apparently Kisame didn't want to tell or show his fin, because it was only five centimeters big, he was very insecure because of it.

"Yes I have one." Kisame said.

"Oh really." The leader said getting interested in the conversation.

" Yes… Really." Kisame said bluntly.

"Hmm.. How big?" Sasori asked.

"Big enough." Kisame replied.

"Oh show us!" Zetsu said with a smile.

"No.." Kisame said.

"Have you ever been called a dolphin?" I asked, Deidara, Zetsu, and Itachi just snorted trying to hold in their laughter. Kisame looked over at me; apparently I had a knack for getting people embarrassed or just saying the wrong things at the wrong time.

"No.." He replied then continued eating his food.

_I had to see if this worked._

I quickly pulled out a piece of meat and waved my hand in a funny way, Kisame did a back flip and caught the meat in his mouth. "Are you sure you're not a Dolphin?" I asked him the giggled everyone else was hysterical. It isn't like me to tease other people, but he was just funny to see go red because its more like purple.

"…" Kisame left with his meat still in his mouth.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything…" I mumbled to myself no one heard me.


	3. Zetsu

Incase anyone was wondering maybe Hinata is a maid… Or something, . I have no idea how she knows the Members.

**Drabble 3**

**(Zetsu WooOooOooOo)**

**I know everyone was looking forward for this..**

**Not really But neh. No one has reviewed yet so..**

**If anyone has a special request for a character REVIEW IT!**

**What a long title.**

Dear Diary,

So far, the man/woman, man/shark have been in my diary, Lets go for a man/plant now. Zetsu is a really strange person but he is very entertaining. You should see some of his dance moves.

He gets picked on a lot because he is the weakest member apparently. I thought his name might be yin and yang because his face was black and white but I was wrong…

--

I did ask him some questions, like I ask everyone else. I wonder a lot about each akatsuki member but Zetsu puzzles me the most.

"You're what kind of a plant?" I asked him, I was doing their laundry, he was helping well sort of just telling me whose laundry is whose.

"Venus fly trap." He replied.

"Oh… Do you pollinate?" I asked.

"…" Yes I would be stumped too if someone asked me such a strange question.

"Well?" I asked trying to start up a conversation.

"I don't know" He replied trying to change the subject.

_Okay maybe he is a bit touchy on this subject._

"Do you reproduce sexually? Or Asexually?" Okay that popped out of my mouth like that time with Deidara Ahhh… I blushed.

"Both" he replied then left the room.

Why did he leave? I was getting to the underwear! I can't guess which one is with each person!

"Zetsu-san! Come back I need help with the underwear!" I said, then he popped out of the ground (LIKE DAISYS!)

"Hn." He said.

"Okay, Whose boxers are these?" I asked they had little fishes on them maybe I should take a guess.

"Kisame's" He said bluntly.

"Oh," I folded them up, I was so used to doing this for Neji that I almost don't blush but here My face was like a cherry!!!

"And these?" I pulled out black briefs.

"Itachi's" He said

"Oooh." I said them put them in his pile.

"Uhh. W-what about these?" I said pulling out a pink thong no it was not mine!

"Uhh…" He stalled. "Deidara's" He said quickly I put them In Deidara's pile of cloths. I went to get the next undies and they were the Leaders, when I looked back Zetsu and the pink thong was gone.

"Hmmm." I said, then picked up the laundry and headed to each of the Akatsuki members rooms to give them their laundry.

--

We were at dinner again, I guess it was Zetsu's turn to be embarrassed but I didn't have much to ask was Zetsu against eating plants? I mean he was a plant it would be like eating himself right?

"Zetsu-san" Here we go again.

"Hm?" He said looking up from his so called meal he wasn't even eating.

"Do you bloom in the spring time?" I asked completely serious, everyone else just choked or chuckled.

"…." He was stalling, "N-no." He stuttered.

"Oh, why not you are a plant right?" I asked.

"Yes, But I'm a Venus fly trap. Not a cherry blossom." He said.

"I'm not so sure about that Zetsu you are quite pink in the spring time." Deidara said chuckling through his words. Apparently everyone was enjoying this, I never mean to be rude to anyone the questions just pop out.

"Quiet you woman." Zetsu countered.

"You shouldn't be talking you flower." Kisame said.

"You're a dolphin Kisame at least flowers don't prance." Itachi said.

"Well Itachi you love you're brother, you pedophile incest gay little prick!" Sasori popped out. Okay apparently everyone was in a fight, except Tobi, that albino guy, and the leader they were just sitting there with smirks on their faces, except Tobi he doesn't have a face. SO I decided to leave the room myself.

Apparently it all quieted down 5 seconds after I left, I am the life of the party. I always start things off. One day I will regret it.

-Signed Hinata.


	4. Itachi

**I love Misa… And her awesomeness… Remember I am jealous**

**AND THE TIRES ARE OUT FOR VENGENCE!**

**Drabble 4**

**(Itachi.. DUNDUNDUN!)**

Dear Diary,

If you thought the others were strange Itachi was one messed up man, I did hang around with him I always tried to avoid him, he looked too much like Sasuke in my opinion, and I have never liked that kid.

And this man was obsessed with his brother! When I went into his room (Laundry) his walls were covered with photographs of the kid, he had a piece of his hair, 12 photo albums, I don't want to go on I mean he had a secret closet. What the hell could be in there!?

--

Yes well Kisame and Deidara told me that he was blind with out his Sharingan I had to test it out. But, Itachi had it activated 24/7 how was I supposed to get it to stop!

"Itachi-sama?" I asked in a sweet voice.

"Hn?" He looked up from his photo album of Sasuke with shirts volume 2.

"Can you inactivate your Sharingan?" I asked.

"Yes I can but that doesn't mean I will." He stated bluntly then looked back at his photos. I shivered a couple of times.

"Please?" She said with puppy eyes.

"If you tell about Sasuke afterwards fine." Itachi said with a smirk That guy was over obsessive.

"Fine?" I said a bit confused.

"It's inactivated." He said. Good now I can investigate. I waved my hand in front of him nothing happened, how could I tell if he was faking it? Hmm, his pupils!

I looked at his eyes; I had to go closer, and closer, and closer. I can't even tell if had pupils.

If had none or faded pupils he would be blind if they are normal then he isn't. His just so happen to so dark! It was so hard to see! I went closer. I don't think its possible to get any closer but I had to know!

Then he licked his lips, slowly, like what Gaara used to do whenever I made that dinner for him! It freaked the hell out of me I flipped back and fell over his bed onto the other side. He was already on his bed in a crouched position looking at me with a smirk on his face. Do I ever hate cocky men, Damn Uchiha's Sasuke used to be like that when ever he tripped me when I trained with him.

--

That still never answered my question I still don't know if Itachi is blind or not, I know he is strange, maybe I should of asked him. Nah.

--

DINNER TIME!

Its time to eat once again with the AKATSUKI!!

I had to ask Itachi a few questions this time, it was his turn this great night, he was in a good mood.

"Itachi-sama, I need to borrow your Sasuke Shirtless album" I said bluntly.

"Which one?" Itachi said then slapped his head "Damn!"

"Which one? Itachi how … you freak." The leader said hanging his head in shame.

"…" Itachi replied.

"Oh and your Sasuke front views volume 5." Hinata said.

Itachi twitched.

"You have 5 albums?" Deidara said giggling.

"Uhh." Itachi stalled.

"Hinata since when were you so interested in Sasuke?" Sasori asked. I smirked.

"Since I figured Itachi-sama might want to show off his pictures to the rest of Sasuke's fan club. Itachi-sama is the president." Hinata said oh so innocently.

"You made a fan club?" Zetsu asked, Deidara was giggling in the corner.

"Don't JUDGE US!" Itachi left holding his small photo album to his chest and ran out of the room. Everyone blinked a couple of times and bursted into laughter. Except me, I wanted those albums I make a good amount of money.

-Signed Hinata


	5. Tobi

**Drabble 5**

**(cough Tobi….)**

** . **

**Any requests for people?!**

Dear Diary,

This is one strange bunch. But Tobi he has been my favorite, no wait second Deidara is my favorite I love his hair. Tobi doesn't have a face, its hard to tell what he is feeling. Then again its hard to tell what anyone is feeling in this place they are all pretty monotone.

Anyways, Tobi he doesn't help me with anything, actually he is like one of those friends you just keep around to make fun of behind their backs, says Sasori.

--

He was fallowing me around while I was delivering everyone's laundry. It was kind of creepy but it was nice to have company. I was trying to make conversation, but it was so difficult when all he replied with was.

"Tobi been a good boy?" (Misa!!!!!)

"…Never mind." Was my usually reply to such a statement.

And so I continued with my duties, I went into Deidara's room, he was lying on his bed reading magazines with his feet kicking in the air. That girly man.

--

I was so tired and I still had to make them some food. Tobi looked at me I think I couldn't tell the man looked like he had a beehive on his head.

"What is that on your head?" I asked.

"Tobi a good boy?" He asked… again.

"Oh. Never mind." She said then threw him a stick he ran off to go get it. "That's right little boy, run.." I said feeling like I should act more often. I felt another presence in the room, it was Deidara staring at me like a fool.

"We are having an annual play coming up you should audition. It would nice for me to actually play a male role for once, ah ART!" He sighed and smirked. Tobi came back with the stick in his mouth.

"Good boy Tobi!" I said happily and he tackled me to the ground like a dog.

"No TOBI! Bad boy! Bad boy! Off the lady! She isn't your territory!" Deidara said hitting Tobi over the back with a newspaper.

**cough cough**

Someone else was in the room. We all looked up, Itachi and Sasori were looking at us like idiots. They all shrugged it off and we all continued with the scene, until I Byakuganed their asses off of me.

--

DINNER YET AGAIN!

"So how was everyone's day?" I asked.

"It was swell Hinata" Deidara said with a smirk.

"How lovely!" Kisame said the chuckled

"Indeed" Sasori said in a monotone.. Uh. Expression?

"Hn" Itachi was in a bad mood ever since the Sasuke album incident.

"How was yours Hinata?" Zetsu asked.

"Uh Eventful." I replied.

"Tobi been a good boy?" Tobi said… Once again

"Yes Tobi! You helped me a lot today!" I said which I regret when he once again flew across the table and I flew off my chair.

"No Tobi BAD BOY!" Deidara said and started hitting him with a newspaper… Again.

"Tobi What did I tell you about tackling girls?" The leader said.

"Tobi is a bad boy." He whimpered getting up and leaving the room.

How come very dinner it usually ends up with someone leaving the room!?

--

I woke up that night and found Tobi curled up at the end of my bed like a dog, it was freaky considering the guy had no face just a beehive for a head. I ran out screaming.

Deidara came flying out with a green mud mask eating a cucumber the other slipped off his eye. "WHAT!" He shouted.

"Ah! I can't sleep with TOBI!" I nervously.

"Tobi! Get back to your own room!" Deidara said throwing Tobi into his own room and lock his door and you could hear small whimpers coming from inside Tobi's room.

"Uh…." I didn't say anything

-Signed Hinata.


	6. Sasori

**IMPORTANT!**

(WooOooOO I never expected people to like this as much as they did because I think its horribly written look at all my grammar mistakes …. And I have no idea why Hinata is with the Akatsuki…. She just is. Deal with it. Reminder, this story.. Has no plot whatsoever… So yeah its just Hinata's thoughts on the characters after Sasori and maybe the leader I will start on the rookie 9, anyone want me to start with someone special???)

Drabble 6

(Sasori… This one was so difficult.)

Dear Diary,

Deidara I thought was gay after he told me about Sasori, but Deidara is like 19 and Sasori is in his forties… I think.

That's just wrong in my opinion its like Urg Neji's father, Or Jiraiya-sama and me. Ack! The thought just made me gag.

--

Though Sasori never talks to me he does help me with the cleaning, somehow each one seems to watch me do a certain chore, why the hell do I do this anyways? Its because the others are too lazy, not that I'm a maid or anything. (A/N I have no idea why she is there anyways.)

He quite nice though when I can't reach something to clean he gets it… Then just hands it to me so I can clean it. But he doesn't seem to be interested in conversations, like what can I ask him? This one actually looked normal!

Besides the fact he looks like Gaara, just without the raccoon eyes.

Maybe their related?

I shouldn't ask the man might kill me.

And that just wasn't on my to do list today I still had a lot of cleaning to do.

"Wow, Sasori you never help with anything. Do you like this one?" Kisame rolled in. Sasori didn't say anything which scared the crap out of me I never knew what the hell he is thinking. "And you havn't killed her yet either."

"Eh?" Man I'm CANADIAN!

"Oh its nothing Hinata he just usually kills the cleaning ladies."

"I am no cleaning lady! I help around because I couldn't stand to live in a crap load of dirty things! You dolphin!" I was just pissed off already I needed to explode on someone.

"WHAT! I am no dolphin!"

"Are too." Sasori joined in with his Monotoness.

"You shut up you…You… Awful person you!" That was the worst comeback I have ever heard.

"…" There was silence no one wanted to say anything Poor Kisame was getting insecure.

--

I did discover one thing when I cleaned Sasori's room. He had a thing for garbles and guinea pigs. He also had one of those little puppet show stages!

"Sasori-sama, do you ever play with your Puppet show?" I asked while cleaning his gerbil cage.

"Hn." I had no idea what that meant but most of the male population seemed to use it.

"Uhh.. Is that a no?" I questioned.

"No…" He replied.

"Oh… Then you do play with it?" I asked.

He just merely nodded.

"Great! Do a show for me!" And with that I got to see his little puppet show and it was very amusing, though it seemed really out of character for him to make it about a princess and fairies.

--

DINNER TIME!

WoooOooOoOo

This dinner was smashing! Apparently everyone was spying on us when the puppet show was going on. –sigh-

"Since when do you play with things?" Asked Kisame.

"Yeah, seriously Sasori I thought you were the normal one." Itachi said.

"There is nothing wrong with having a puppet show." I said.

"But its Sasori, I mean he killed his parents when he was like 5!" Deidara said, "And its normal for that person to make a puppet show about a princess?" He questioned, "But it was a wonderful show a great way to express you artistic abilities!"

"Indeed." Zetsu said.

"Shut up cherry blossom" Sasori said, "I was just so insecure about it, I never told anyone, no one would understand!" Okay apparently Sasori was on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

"Oh shut up!" The leader said throwing spaghetti on Sasori's head.

"…"

"FOOD FIGHT!" Zetsu shouted and everyone started throwing things.

"NoO! My Sasuke It will be okay!" I heard Itachi scream.

"NoO! My hair!" Deidara shouted.

"Stop it!" I heard Kisame saying I looked over Zetsu was trying to pull off his clothes

"I want to see your fin you dolphin!" He replied to Kisame.

I left the room in hopes someday these boys would grow into men…

-Signed Hinata

Okay dude I know this one sucked but Its because there isn't much to make fun of Sasori, He is a pretty normal person, Except for the fact he killed his parents and he is insane but what Akatsuki isn't insane?!


	7. Author notes!

-1** A/N!**

**Okay!**

**This is to all Hinata's Diary readers**

**The Story has been continued but in a volume two!**

**Its published so if anyone wants to read the continued version do ahead**

**This one is now complete**

**I don't exactly know why anyone is reading this though**

**--;**

**Thanks for all support**

**:D:D**

**-Katomi-chan-**


End file.
